Hello {{contact.first_name}},

Hello wonderful human,

My managers are telling me mailing this out on the July 4th weekend is probably a bad idea, as many of you will be traveling and focused on other things than checking email. (So if you read this, let me know!)

However, World Cup soccer matches and the accompanying crowd fervor, joy, and heartbreak inspired me to send you a lil' care package for the July 4th weekend.

If you are discouraged or despairing about the state of our country, let our 250th birthday nudge you to connect with some of the aspects you appreciate most about this beautiful and heartbreaking country of ours. We've been living in a collective survival for years and we seem to be wired more easily to expect the worst. We brace for dread.

I'll make it easy for you and nudge you to turn on a World Cup match. Let yourself be swept up in the physiological synchrony of our heart rhythms when we share an intense emotion. It's happening all over the world. It happened in NYC when the Knicks won. It happens at evangelical worship services and rock concerts. We're moved at a sub-verbal level. Let your body receive and express.

Susan Zinn's (licensed psychotherapist) Substack article after the Knicks historic win names this phenomenon, also called collective effervescence, described by sociologist Émile Durkheim in 1912:

the electric energy and unity that happens when a group feels one emotion at the same moment.

Watching the most skilled male soccer players in the world is rivaled for me by being swept up by the spirited crowd celebrations around the world. Yes, my parts wince for the losing team and the crying, costumed fans, but this is the binary, unpredictable reality of sport: there are winners and losers. Sports events are exhilarating and cathartic. Even after defeat, spectators and athletes come back for more.

Of course I'd love to attend in person, but even just witnessing 80,000 fans in Mexico City swaying, cheering, crying and singing at the top of their lungs after winning on home soil makes my heart a little lighter.

Or hearing the President of Paraguay declare a national holiday after beating Germany. Or watching US coach Mauricio Pochettino's Argentinian parents tearfully share in Spanish how proud they are of their son for this opportunity to coach our World Cup men's team.

When that happens, when our heart is touched, when someone makes us laugh, when we experience a positive moment, Susan encourages us to, "Stay with the feeling 20 seconds longer than you normally would…to help encode it so your heart can find its way back to that state when you need it. These moments become anchors: reference points your body can return to when the bracing starts again."

If you need a pick-me-up about now, turn on Fox and give your heart a chance for some collective effervescence. It's quite healing! You know I'm sucked in when I even considered for one second whether I'd be late to our bi-annual family reunion in Montana to watch matches this weekend and early next week. (Ok, that was a part. Self's back on board reassuring, "Don't worry, we're going to MT to see the Norwegians! I can't wait, actually!")

I hope we can remember and celebrate the gifts of our country. It doesn't mean to ignore the relentless heartbreak, division and unfairness that permeates our culture. But we can choose to focus on the precious aspects of our country — the diversity of our people, traditions and geography.

Connect with loved ones and the range of gifts and unearned privileges and opportunities afforded us by living in this country.

Find fresh water, comfort food, move your body, call a friend, connect with your parts and one another!

Happy 250th birthday, USA. May we not lose our commitment to make this country a better place than we found it. One interaction at a time.

the gift bag below reads:

May you be proud of the work you do, the person you are, and the difference you make.

Read below for upcoming

IN PERSON IFS RETREATS AT KRIPALU AUG & OCT!

Please share with a friend or colleague.

Thanks for pausing with me and BEing WITH your parts.

until next time,

Laura

P.S. with my vibrant colleague, Dr. Shawn Horn, the shame busting psychologist at a recent afternoon at the lake for our therapist community.

Gift bag compliments of our generous host, fellow colleague, Suzanne Apelskog.

I continue to meet with healing professionals for monthly consultation, supervision and therapy.

Here's a long-term consultee, Kristin Flugstad from Flagstaff, AZ, celebrating her final session before receiving her hard-earned IFS Certification. She did it! We did it! What a joy!

Working with you all is such a gift. Thank you for your trust, hard-work and commitment to tending to your own parts as you help clients heal.

IFS Retreats at Kripalu Retreat Center in the beautiful Berkshire hills of western MA

• August 9-14 Intro to IFS with LifeForce Yoga

  All bodies and experience levels welcome.

  LifeForce Founder, IFS colleague, Amy and I return for our third year to offer a rare opportunity integrating two powerful modalities for healing and self-compassion. This is a wonderful entry point if you're new to either or a want a restorative refresher.

• October 18-22 for IFS-informed Therapists & Practitioners:

  Restore Trust in your Self so your Helper Parts can Rest

  You know those parts who generate self-doubt and make your sessions more tiring, effortful, less effective? Restore with IFS colleagues as you connect with these hard-working helper, Self-like parts so they can start to trust YOU and relax. Experience BEing more helpful by DOing less in session, not more.

  Self knows just how to be and just what to do.

  You give so much to others. Take this time for you.

Details and registration for both retreats

And here’s a weekly online opportunity to BE WITH your parts non-verbally through movement, dance and music:

Join my Kripalu buddy, Toni Bergins, for JourneyDance, Tuesdays 12pm ET

https://journeydance.com/events/

Toni teaches at Kripalu and is a master of healing and connection through movement. A good way to keep that 20-second window going a little longer.