A Concept to Challenge Your Status Quo
“Sometimes you need to look behind you to see if anyone is following you. Because if nobody’s following—who are you really leading?”
That quote hit me this week when a leader shared a simple, human challenge: Her team felt unseen.
Her assistant managers delivered results, but something in the atmosphere had cooled. Team members compared the warmth of one leader’s daily greetings to the more transactional interactions of the assistants. The question she asked was timeless: How do you coach people to become more approachable, without faking it?
Here’s the truth: Leadership isn’t about being liked. It’s about being trusted, and trust is built through three elements: Logic, Authenticity, and Empathy.
Harvard Business Review calls this the Trust Triangle. Most leaders nail the logic (competence) and authenticity (consistency). But empathy, the ability to make people feel seen and safe, is where even capable managers falter.
Empathy, however, begins where judgment ends.
When leaders only “manage performance,” their people often retreat behind compliance. But when leaders learn to win hearts as well as minds, performance transforms from obligation into ownership.
Try this: Ask your managers to describe the best leader they’ve ever followed, and what made that person magnetic. Then flip the mirror: “How might you win the hearts of your team today?”
Encourage them to lead with a question, not a command.
When leaders trade their clipboard for curiosity, walls fall. People stop resisting and start responding.
The result? You don’t have to chase engagement; you attract it.
If you’re coaching emerging leaders this week, forward this newsletter their way. Because the bridge between a serviced team and a transformed one… is personalization. And leadership empathy is where the crossing begins.
