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Relationships are greatest indicator of health and happiness.

Scientists hoped the longitudinal study of 268 Harvard sophomores started in 1938 (during the Great Depression) would reveal clues to leading healthy and happy lives.

Following the surviving Crimson men for nearly 80 years as part of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the world’s longest studies of adult life, researchers have collected a cornucopia of data on their physical and mental health. This cohort included President John F. Kennedy and Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee. Today, 19 of the original cohort are still alive and in their mid-90s.

Scientists expanded the research in later decades to include the men's children, and in the 1970s Boston inner-city residents, and later their wives.

What did they learn?

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. With medical records, in-person interviews and questionnaires, several studies found that people's level of satisfaction with their relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of physical health than their cholesterol levels.

Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. That finding proved true across the board among both the Harvard men and the inner-city participants.

“Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains,” said Waldinger in his popular TED Talk. “And those good relationships, they don’t have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn’t take a toll on their memories.”

Part of another study found that people who had happy marriages in their 80s reported that their moods didn’t suffer even on the days when they had more physical pain. Those who had unhappy marriages felt both more emotional and physical pain.

Researchers also found that those with strong social support experienced less mental deterioration as they aged.

In part of a recent study, researchers found that women who felt securely attached to their partners were less depressed and more happy in their relationships two-and-a-half years later, and also had better memory functions than those with frequent marital conflicts.

“The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”

Study & lab updates including the TED Talk.

What the longest happiness study reveals about finding fulfillment.

Self-sufficiency serves systems,

not souls.

BY KITTY KISTLER

We were never meant to do this alone. The myth of self-sufficiency serves systems, not souls. What we need—what we’ve always needed—is our village. The one where neighbors look out for each other, recipes are shared over soup that’s offered without asking, and humanity and togetherness become quiet acts of resistance.

In times of uncertainty, connection is the revolution.

To gather, to care, to remember how to be human in a world that tries to make us commodities is radical.

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'Dugnadsȧnd' for troubled times.

"A collective willingness of people to come together in the context of community projects - emphasising cooperation and selflessness." - Meik Wiking.

The Nordic concept "dugnadsånd", approximately translated as "community spirit" or "volunteer spirit", is key to happiness… according to CEO of happiness Meik Wiking and founder of the Happiness Research Institute, Copenhagen, Denmark.

Wiking contributed to the global popularity of "hygge", the Danish art of embracing coziness and comfort for self-care, became popular across the globe. Now he makes the case for "dugnadsånd" in Stylist magazine. His latest book The Art of Danish Living might be the most valuable, providing simple tools to we all need to reduce stress, increase our sense of purpose and live the Danish way.

"Raising a barn" in the USA in the 18th and 19th centuries (a big project to build such a huge structure) required more hands and muscle than typically one family. Calling on your local community to help was common - helping each other through reciprocation made the whole community stronger, more resilient, and, I would argue, also happier.

Gathering friends or neighbours and turning the labour into a more enjoyable event meant building not only barns but also friendships.

Denmark would call this ‘arbejdsfællesskab’ - a ‘work community’ - and in Finland, ‘talkoot’ is the word for a gathering of friends and neighbours organised to achieve a task, something that may be a common good for the group and that cannot be accomplished by an individual alone.

In Norwegian, there are the words ‘dugnad’, meaning voluntary work done together with other people and ‘dugnadsånd’, meaning the spirit of dugnad, which was voted word of the year in Norway in 2004 and was used to help overcome the pandemic in 2020.

"My friend Ida and her family have worked together in this way with two other families. Each year, each of the three families plans a big project, for instance to build an outdoor pizza oven, a chicken coop or a fence for the land where their sheep graze. Together, they complete the three projects – one in the spring, one in the summer and one in the autumn – on rotation. Each family makes sure the necessary materials and supplies are brought, and everyone brings tools. They work, eat, and laugh together. Sounds like a great weekend to me."

Working together is much more enjoyable; the project is completed much faster, and it’s a great way to learn new skills from others. So don’t be shy – invite people over to help you out with your project. There will be plenty of happiness in it for them, too.

"There aren't many barns that need raising in 2025, but our communities definitely need and rely on collective action," says Emma Beddington in The Guardian. 

With bare-bones budgets, threadbare public services and cuts, cuts, cuts, community spirit is already at least partly responsible for ensuring hungry children are fed, and refugees are welcomed, among other things.

"There is a very fair question to be asked about whether, really, individuals and communities should be plugging those gaping holes. To British ears, dugnadsånd could evoke a dread “big society” – the expedient outsourcing of the state’s obligations to a patchwork of charitable and voluntary organisations when what really needs to happen is for very rich people and corporations to pay vastly more tax. But if I’ve grasped dugnadsånd correctly, from what Wiking writes, it is mostly more modest: neighbours helping neighbours, communities clearing rubbish or creating playgrounds. Anyone can be the beneficiary, as well as the giver."

There is hard evidence that volunteering is good for you. A 2023 review of 28 studies on volunteering concluded there was “consistent evidence to support effects on general health and wellbeing and quality of life”; there is even evidence of “reduced mortality”. Social prescribers refer clients for volunteering opportunities, because believing that you have something to contribute, and acting on it, feels good. Reciprocity is baked in, because everyone benefits.

In the New York Times, an exploration of how the horrifying current political climate has supercharged intellectual interest in the idea of solidarity included a description of it that stuck with me: “a distinctive and delicate form of intimacy”. It is intimate, also vulnerable, to accept and express when we need help; to want to offer it but not know how, or to feel inept when we do; to accept we need each other.

Wear T-shirts boldly, smile freely.

When Gemma Went went to her local deli wearing a rainbow-themed T-shirt with the writing:

Kiss boldly, love freely, be proud.

"I have NEVER had as many smiles from strangers in my life!"

The boost of positivity we all needed, especially after a rough time.

She ordered a few for Pride, and she clearly needs to wear them more!

"One good life touches another, which touches another… and we are all connected, we are all part of a thousand hearts."

Kat Stano

Creative Copywriter & Children's Author

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