The meaning of life from a palliative carer, a novelist, a Holocaust survivor & a reporter.In 1931, philosopher Will Durant wrote to 100 luminaries in the arts, politics, religion and sciences, challenging them to respond not only to the fundamental question of life’s meaning but also to relate how they each found meaning, purpose and fulfilment in their own lives. I am currently replicating Durant’s study, and I’d be most appreciative if you could tell me what you think the meaning of life is, and how you find meaning, purpose and fulfilment in your own life? As Durant originally instructed, “Write briefly if you must; write at length and at leisure if you possibly can. What would you respond to this letter? You can see more responses to James Bailey's letter here, but here are my favourite 4 responses: Watching people living their dying [40 years caring for people with incurable illnesses] has been an enormous privilege, especially as it’s shown [when we] grasp the truth of our own mortality that we awaken to the preciousness of being alive... Instead of yearning for the lost past, or leaning in to the unguaranteed future, we are most truly alive when we give our full attention to what is here, right now. Whatever is happening, experiencing it fully means both being present and being aware of being present. The only moment in our lives that we can ever have any choice about is this one. Even then, we cannot choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond: we can rejoice in the good things, relax into the delightful, be intrigued by the unexpected. - palliative care consultant Kathryn Mannix Life can have a definite purpose if you decide so – and the carrying through, the effort to realise the purpose, makes the meaning for you. It’s like alchemy. The alchemists were on a futile quest, we think. There wasn’t a philosopher’s stone, and they couldn’t make gold. But after many years of patience, the alchemist had developed tenacity, vision, patience, hope, precision – a range of subtle virtues. He had the spiritual gold, and he understood his life in the light of it. - Thomas Cromwell trilogy novelist Hilary Mantel. I am a camp survivor from Auschwitz and was liberated from Bergen-Belsen on 15 April 1945. I was totally dehumanised, fearful, distrustful, lost to contemplate the future, all alone, unable to comprehend the values for a life in a modern civilisation… The first awareness, in Bergen-Belsen, was the discovery that kindness and goodwill had also survived. When the British soldier lifted me up from the mud hole – seeing a twitch in my body [tuberculosis, typhoid and severe malnutrition] – he gently placed me in one of the small ambulances [sent to Sweden to recover]. From that experience, miraculous goodwill is one of my guiding lights to this day. I often think of that moment and ask, “what part of that goodness with your heart do you take from that soldier?” - Holocaust survivor Susan Pollack [My wife and two boys] are healthy and safe, and (mostly) happy, and there’s joy in watching their delights... I’m surrounded by evidence that all could be otherwise. I hear about bombs falling on innocents, an uncertain election, a faltering climate, and many of us lacking the will (or charity) to change. Yet still I marvel that we flew here in under 12 hours... that we can love whomever we want, and see and speak to them at any hour, and a pandemic did not end my life, did not kill my children’s dreams, did not make society selfish and cruel.* Simply breathing while healthy and safe, and (mostly) happy is such a surprising, awe-inducing, humbling gift that I have no right to question it. I won’t tempt fate. I won’t look that gift horse in the mouth. - New Yorker Magazine reporter, The Power Of Habit author Charles Duhigg |
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Give a fluff. That's it, that's the hack.[AD] That MAGIC, silver bullet you're looking for? It’s not 500 messages a day, Stripe notification screenshots or replying "YAS QUEEN" to every story they post… 🙄 It is… *drumroll* 👉🏻 MAKING THEM FEEL SEEN, HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD. That is literally all anyone wants. To be seen. To be heard. To feel safe. To matter. To connect. It's not fluffin' complicated. People are out here moaning that “people aren’t buying” while they're boasting they don't make calls. And YES - it is harder now. But so it fluffin' should be! People don't just hand over their money to someone who doesn't give them the time of day. (Shocker!) People don't just seamlessly trip over your wire and into your funnel while they throw you money. (Unbelievable!) Maybe the sales process has about as much humanity and customer service as a McDonald’s drive through. (Less! They tell you you have a nice day!)
And because businesses out here are treating them like this, other business owners - good, smart, kind people running legitimately brilliant businesses - are getting tarred with the same brush. Yes, we're in business - but, come on. Have heart. Have soul. Have courage. Do things differently. Give a fluff! That’s it, that’s the HACK. That’s the “secret to Chantelle's 6-figure business”. And if you want to learn how to market your services in a way that doesn't make you feel icky... |
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"Most of the time, more often than any other topic, people write about love."When Michael Gustafson and his wife Hilary opened Literati Bookstore in Ann Arbor, Michigan USA, they put out a typewriter and a blank piece of paper for anyone to type something. No internet. No social media. No delete key. Would people ask metaphysical questions? (Yes.) Would they write mean things? (No.) Would they pour their souls onto the page? (Did they ever.)
"I was curious. When forced with a blank page, what would people type. Nonsense? Mean, biting comments? Vitriolic attacks?" asks Michael in his Instagram video. Over 12 years, most of the time, more often than any other topic… people wrote about love. Love gained, love lost, missed love, yearned for love, love for parents… love wanted, love needed. "When we are left alone with our thoughts, when we take away social media and followers and comments and the cruel, cacophonous megaphone that is the internet, When we have a quiet moment in a bookstore to simply leave something anonymous about anything we want, More times than not, we write about love." At the Literati Bookstore, people of all ages sat down at the public typewriter. Children perched atop grandparents' knees, hands over the metal keys: I LOVE YOU. Others walked in alone on a Friday night and confessed their hope: I will find someone someday. Some left funny asides for the next person: I dislike people, misanthropes, irony… and lists, too.
Michael and designer Oliver Uberti combined their favourite notes with essays and photos in their book Notes From A Public Typewriter. Namelessbookstore commented on the Instagram video: "There is a cafe in Los Angeles that has mismatched antique furniture and one of the tables is actually a desk with a drawer. People used to leave notes in the drawer. I hope they still do. Many of them were about love." "Where there is so much wrong in this world, in the end, after pouring through tens of thousands of anonymous notes, I truly believe we are more alike than we think." Michael Gustafson, Literati Bookstore. |
A perspective in the blink of an eyeWritten by Paul Hand. (The UK HypnoCoach) She would have turned 48. But 18 years ago, I kissed her goodbye and gave the ICU staff permission to switch off her life support. My wife, aged just 30. Mum to 3 young kids, including our baby Jack who was just 11 months at the time. Each year, I like to post this message for anyone who might need to hear it. (And yes, that includes me.) ~~~~~ Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, is it? We go through stuff that tests us, sometimes to the limit. But… it’s all about perspective. When I think back to December 2007, watching my young wife slip away… The feelings of absolute devastation when she passed. The feelings of the utter unfairness of it. The knowledge that life would never be the same again for many innocent, decent humans who simply didn’t deserve this tragedy; to lose their granddaughter, daughter, mummy, niece, cousin, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, friend... wife. And above all, the utter unfairness that meant Tash would never have the chance to enjoy all the milestones for her children… to enjoy continuing to build a life with her husband… the Christmases and holidays she loved and enjoyed so much, our lovely home, the village we lived in which she adored, the fundraising she loved to do for the school, the new venture in events management she was looking to start (she’d have smashed it)… It brings perspective to most things. In that perspective is why we ought to wake up and smell the damn coffee. Most - not all, sure - but MOST issues we allow to get in the way of our enjoyment of this life aren’t really that important. Not so bloody important to allow them to derail us, to get in the way of really making the most of the time we have. How about we stop and remind ourselves: we got to wake up this morning. We have another day. Another opportunity to create what we want to create. Make it a habit, every morning, to remember we are living, breathing human beings. We're here, right now, in this world - it's incredible, really! Look at kids whose needs are met - look at the wonder and awe in their eyes. More wonder and awe is absolutely needed in this world in adults. Instead of the incessant noise, judgement, overthinking that plagues so many people... WONDER at how we get to have this human experience. This is it. Yet people act like it isn’t. Maybe we just think we get a good crack at it, for a long time… but in the great cosmic scheme? It’s a nanosecond. “We live and die in the blink of an eye.” That's my little phrase which serves as a reminder that life really is too short to sweat the small stuff... and most of it is small stuff. And yeah, I know these words seem trite when we have real issues going on. I'll end this with a piece that gets at what I'm trying to get at. I just implore you to consider the deeper meaning here, beyond the surface-level stories we tend to live by. The great Chuck Lorre - American television producer and writer - creator of The Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon and other comedy series. Here goes: I've been told that if you change your mind, you change the world - or at least the way you experience it….The presumption is, if you think the world was a hostile, ugly place filled with awful people doing awful things, that is what you'd see. Your mind would naturally seek out confirmation for its preconceived ideas (e.g. if you're buying a red car, you'll see lots of red cars as you go about your day). If, however, you were able to sincerely change your mind and see that we are all God in drag, that we are the conscious aspects of a perfect universe which had to create us so we could bear witness and stand in awe before its loving magnificence, then that is the soul-shaking reality you'd be greeted with each and every moment of each and every day. In other words, it is entirely our choice as to what kind of world we live in. With a simple decision, we can suffer in the darkness or play in the light. We can be angry, frightened and enslaved, or loving, joyous and free. ...I know. It's a toughie. I don’t know about you, but that gives me goosebumps. Look after each other, ok? [Editor's note: special thanks to Paul Hand for this.] |
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You don't have to work alone.[AD] Constantly task-switching is challenging for many people, even those who don't have ADHD brains. But for those who do, that constant task-switching leads to brain fog and overstimulation, which becomes second-guessing, analysis paralysis, forgetting where you saved that thing you need almost every day, getting easily distracted and overwhelmed, and often leads to some level of executive dysfunction. Maybe that cycle even leaves you wondering if you’re just not cut out for this after all. Danielle Wilson works with clients in the messy, magical stage of business just before you hire your first full-time team member - though this can work for you at any stage of your business! The important part is: you're BUSY, and still wearing a lot of hats, Googling "how-to" 5 times a day, and bouncing between 117 tabs, while wondering if your to-do list is secretly plotting against you! You don't need another course. You don't want another coach. You don't need more information. You need a body-double that actually helps you get stuff done!
Versa-Buddy™ is one-to-one, real-time, brain and body doubling. Because it’s not just about time or effort - it’s about focus and bandwidth. It's just frustrating to work so hard and feel like you accomplished so little most days. This is one-on-one, in-the-moment support with someone who gets it. Someone who brings clarity and calm. Someone who can help you decide, design, build, edit, solve, plan or re-write ON THE SPOT! Now you'll have a second brain (Danielle!) to help you stay focused, simplify the steps, and help you get more done in less time, without spiraling, stalling, or spinning in circles. "I help founders, creators, and multi-passionate minds take all the plans, pivots and possibilities swimming in their head… and make sure we turn them into finished, working things. It lights me up, every time." |
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"Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am." Parker Palmer American author & educator |
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