Let’s start by saying running any business on your own takes a lot of commitment, sacrifice, and courage. You can recite those same words being the parent of a special needs child. The courage to run your own business is a choice, however, while courage as a special needs parent is thrust upon you.
Courage is not a lack of fear, as we know, it’s facing the fear and forging on. That fear rears its’ head with each new challenge, new school, new friend, new activity, and new phase of life. The courage requires stepping in over and over again to test the water, find the comfort, invite your child in, and then let them swim on their own. That’s kind of like business, too. If we aren’t moving ahead in some new way our business is sinking. Swimming in these two pools at the same time takes some skill to avoid drowning.
One of the best choices I made when my third child was born was to leave full-time work. I worked part-time for a few years, but I needed more income and more flexibility. My daughter has attended speech therapy and swimming with a Special Olympic team that required pulling her out of school every week.
She needed a driver to attend a college program. There are also thunderstorms, and scary movies, monthly menstruation, and auditory overload that needed my calming presence on occasion.
Running a meaningful business while making my family my top priority required, first, that I find a passion in my work to give it meaning. My work as a writer includes teaching, marketing, copywriting and ghostwriting to help clients find the stories that connect to their values and passions. That fulfills a much-needed creativity piece for me. And my training as a communication coach fulfills that science and proof-of-concept I need, too. My work allows me to help others, develop meaningful relationships, and balance the right side and left side of my brain. I needed these reasons to be an entrepreneur beyond making an income.
The second thing I need is to carve out time for me. I have dedicated entire periods of my life to work,and other periods of life to my family. It just can’t sustain. You have to come first. You can only really give authentically from the overflow of your full cup. Your cup needs to stay full so there is no resentment or judgment or obligation. There is only fully present you. Weekly I attend coaching sessions, I meditate, spend time outdoors, hit the gym, and garden in the summer months. This doesn’t always end up working out each day, but it is a standard I live by. It’s not selfish; it’s self-preservation.
This requires planning, so that is step three. I plan my week with “must do” events for business, family, and myself. I fill in the gaps with other work and family activities. I also ask for help. On the regular. I ask for business help. I ask for personal help. I let people know what I need. People want to help. They want you to succeed. They want your child to succeed. And I offer help back.
