Over the years, I've worked with countless talented professionals who have extraordinary skills, deep expertise, and decades of experience.
Yet somewhere along the way, a painful experience quietly started narrating a story about who they are.
A layoff becomes: "Maybe I'm not as valuable as I thought."
A difficult job search becomes: "Maybe nobody wants what I have to offer."
A toxic workplace becomes: "Maybe every workplace is like this."
A rejection becomes:
"Maybe I'm too old."
"Too specialized."
"Too much."
"Not enough."
The event happens once. But the story gets repeated hundreds of times.
And eventually, the story starts shaping how people show up.
Their confidence shrinks.
Their energy changes.
Their presence changes.
They become more hesitant.
More cautious.
More reactive.
Not because they've lost their expertise.
Because they've lost touch with it.
One of the metaphors I often use with clients is this:
You can walk through the fire. Just don't come out smelling like smoke.
The fire may not be your fault.
But it is your responsibility to decide what happens next.
Because here's what I know:
You are not your layoff.
You are not your rejection.
You are not your difficult boss.
You are not your most painful professional experience.
You are the holder of your skills.
👉 Your education.
👉 Your wisdom.
👉 Your expertise.
👉 Your capacity to create value.
No company can give those things to you.
And no company can take them away.
One of the reasons I care so deeply about the inner game of career development is because circumstances are always changing.
➡️ Markets change.
➡️ Organizations change.
➡️ Leaders change.
➡️ Economies change.
But if your confidence leans on those external conditions, you'll constantly be at their mercy.
One of the concepts I teach clients is the idea of Anchor Thoughts: intentional beliefs that help you stay connected to what is true when circumstances try to convince you otherwise.
Not affirmations.
Not wishful thinking.
Truths.
Thoughts that help you remember who you are when the market, a difficult manager, or a painful experience is trying to tell a different story.
Things like:
"I bring value whether or not others recognize it immediately."
"I know what I'm doing."
"I’m good at what I do.”
Because the truth is that your inner narrative matters.
Not just for your wellbeing.
For your career.
The way you think about yourself influences how you network.
