From the Desk of Lady Arabella Richardson

Leading Patron for The British School of Excellence

My dearest friends,

A most thoughtful conversation recently unfolded among our etiquette consultants and members of our Alumni Community—one that I felt deserved to be preserved and shared as a reflection of our collective wisdom.

The topic? Whether to include alcohol in Dining Etiquette Masterclasses for adults.

This question, seemingly simple, opens a nuanced discussion at the very heart of our work: how do we best prepare individuals for the social and professional settings they will encounter, while honouring diversity, respect, and refinement?

Some among you expressed the view that alcohol must be included in such training. After all, fine dining experiences in many parts of the world often include wine pairings or pre-dinner cocktails. Equipping students with the confidence to navigate such moments gracefully—knowing when and how to sip, when to decline, and how to engage in polite conversation around alcohol—is invaluable.

Others wisely raised the importance of inclusion and sensitivity. What of those who abstain for health, faith, or personal reasons? As one alumna beautifully suggested, offering elegant alternatives—like sparkling apple juice served in fine stemware—ensures no guest ever feels excluded or compelled to explain themselves.

I was particularly heartened by the recommendation to offer both scenarios in training:

• How to accept a glass of wine with poise, and

• How to decline one with equal elegance.

What a gift it is to teach others that grace lies not in what one chooses—but in how one chooses it.

One of our esteemed consultants described her approach perfectly. She includes wine and cocktails in her masterclass but invites each participant to share their preferences in advance. During the session, she often models the act of requesting a non-alcoholic cocktail—demonstrating that dignity and sophistication are never tied to what’s in your glass.

To all of you who contributed to this discussion: thank you. It was a shining example of what makes our community so special. We do not merely teach etiquette—we live it, through empathy, thoughtfulness, and the constant pursuit of excellence.

As for my own view? I believe etiquette training should reflect the world in all its elegance and diversity. Include alcohol if it suits the setting, but always prepare students for both paths—those who raise a glass, and those who politely place it aside.

With warmest affection

Lady Arabella