During this traditional season of resolutions,
self improvement, and change,
I want to tell you a story that may or may not be true,
depending who you ask.
As a child, I was instructed to lie – about my age for a lower-priced movie ticket, about where we lived and how much time I spent alone, about where I’d been, who I’d seen, and what I’d seen and heard. I was told which lie to tell which person, and that we should never ever lie but this time it’s for the other person’s own good.
Every lie had a reason, but I struggled to keep track; I couldn't remember which “truth” belonged to which person. When I’d say the wrong thing I got punished, so I learned to just be quiet. I was ridiculed for being “shy” if I didn’t speak, but I preferred that over punishment. I also found that the more “shy” I was perceived to be, the less I was expected to say, which suited me fine. One could reasonably argue that my shyness was a deception because, in truth, I am anything but timid.
In my teens I realized that I’d answered a harmless question with a lie. The truth impacted absolutely nothing, but I didn’t tell it and I didn’t even have a reason. I don’t remember what I’d said, but I remember determining right then that I was going to be someone who tells the truth.
I resolved to be honest, even if it had negative consequences. I practiced hard at being truthful, over and over, every single day, every single statement, until one day I realized it had become natural. I didn’t just become an honest person when I made the decision; it happened incrementally over time, with vigilance and effort. This taught me something very valuable:
Decide who you want to be
and practice being that person
until one day you realize
that you’re no longer practicing.
As entrepreneurs, we often treat our professional goals like a pass/fail exam—if we didn't perfectly implement that new system or hit that specific milestone this week, we feel like we’ve failed and we give up or try something new. But what if we viewed our professional growth the same way I viewed my commitment to the truth? As a practice. If you didn't execute perfectly today, you aren't “bad at it”—you’re just in training.
With a mindset of “practice,” you get to try again. It keeps failure at bay and hope alive because you’re still developing that skill. If you don’t quite achieve the goal each day, you aren’t defeated – you and your business(es) are works in progress.
Years after I made that decision, I can confidently and truthfully state that I am an honest person. I have plenty of habits to train for improvement, but deception is not one of them.
Whatever identity you are cultivating this year—whether it’s being a more strategic investor, a more present partner, or a more disciplined leader—remember that if you didn’t get it exactly right today, don't worry—you have practice again tomorrow. Do not embrace defeat.
If you’d like a coach who supports your most authentic success, I would count it a privilege to be part of your journey. Let's cultivate your genius together.
