CO2 IS BRINGING THE HAIRLINE BACK...

...just like Terry B back in the day. The glory days before Biotene, Minoxidil, or "trips" to Turkey. I like to think I am becoming more aerodynamic, just in time for my long-awaited return to sports. Michael Phelps used to shave his body. If it's good enough for an Olympic athlete, it's good enough for a humble, salt-of-the-earth fella from Kansas. I see a mighty combover in my future, but maybe not for a few more years. I can promise you this...I will handle none of this with grace and dignity and class. I will be battling until the end. When I resort to roadkill, you will know the battle is lost.

Here is some stuff I like and hope you like too...

AS ALWAYS, REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS AND STUFF YOU WANT TO SEE! I FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

CHRIS THE COACH

Much like Don Shula, I was aiming for the perfect season. Also, much like Coach Shula, for the most part I have been massively disappointed. My record in picking games has not been as flawless as the 1972 Dolphins, but that's because I'm not hanging out with Mercury Morris and Bob Griese. It's just little ol' me crunching the numbers and taking swings (that actually gives my process for picks so much more credit than it deserves...)... Like Coach Shula, I am a man who has taught adult men games. He coached football; I coached AI prompting at the library near my house very informally/ Either way, we are peers who share some similar thoughts about the season so far...

The Chargers cannot possibly be as bad as the record indicates. I think this is a problem of Harbaugh-city, a phenomenon when the league gets too many Harbaughs involved. This is natural selection, and Jim is on his way out soon...
I can hardly wait until Tyreek Hill comes back for the love of the game...and the giant paycheck...but mostly the love of the game...which is why he went to the Dolphins????
Jalon Daniels shows all of Kansas Jayhawk Nation what he is made of...unfortunately he is made of interceptions and incomplete passes. It's gonna be a rough adjustment.

THE PICKS!!!!!

LAST WEEK'S RECORD: 9-7

THIS SEASON'S RECORD: 37 - 27

WEEK 5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Dallas Cowboys

This is the week the Tampa Bay Bucs get a QB controversy. Jalon Daniels lights up the scoreboard for both teams, but miraculously pulls out a last-second win over the ever-imploding Cowboys. Dak Prescott turns the sleep number up to 11, and throws 3 picks. Bucs by 6.

PICK: BUCS

Philadelphia Eagles at Jacksonville Jaguars

No one owns England like the Jaguars. The likely and obvious expansion team to the UK rallies the chip-eating home crowd, and sends the Eagles into a free-fall.

PICK: JAGS

Cleveland Browns at New York Jets

Deshaun Watson travels with his own folding table all the way to the Big Apple, and, inspired by the Times Square of 1979, plays far too relaxed football. Browns win again!

PICK: BROWNS

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers

It's October and that will mean a complete white out, blizzard-like storm passes through the coldest spot on the known planet, Green Bay, WI. Unfortunately, the Bears, who have not seen sunlight since 1929, are used to this weather, and it is akin to a beach vacation for them. Bears pull it off 2-0.

PICK: BEARS

Cincinnati Bengals at Miami Dolphins

The only reason to care about this game is that this will be the Dolphins' first victory of the year. The Bengals are as overrated as Skyline chili, and they melt in the Florida humidity.

PICK: DOLPHINS

Las Vegas Raiders at New England Patriots

The Raiders continue their impressive season with a victory over Drake Maye and the Patriots. Maxx Crosby is so out of it, he keeps congratulating Mahomes on a great game, but he still ends up with 11 sacks and a forced fumble.

PICK: RAIDERS

Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints

OK, I have to do it...Fran Tarkenton and Bud Grant pull off a victory for the ages in the Superdome. I have as much faith in this pick as I have in carnival psychics telling my future for 7 tickets and a corndog, but every now and then...???

PICK: VIKINGS

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans

The Battle of Two Teams Not Named Oilers Anymore. This game is calling for a screaming helping of Bum Phillips. Are my references too old-timey? You better believe it, but it's the good sauce! It's what we grew up on. Give me one of the teams from Houston for $500...

PICK: HOUSTON

New York Giants at Washington Commanders

This feels like a game we have to pick out of obligation. Two teams with zero quarterbacks between them. I'm taking Joe Theisman and John Riggins.

PICK: COMMANDERS

Indianapolis Colts at Pittsburgh Steelers

Aaron Rodgers brings back the A Formation that was so popular during his rookie year all the way back in 1937. He runs the offense to perfection, and thr Steelers wallop the Colts 11-4.

PICK: STEELERS

Denver Broncos at Los Angeles Chargers

Pop's Pick of the Week has been a sure-fire lock...as long as you've been betting against him! This one, though, I have on good authority, is where the fortunes change. Chargers shock the world (or at least Colorado) with a much-needed win.

PICK: CHARGERS

Detroit Lions at Arizona Cardinals

Detroit comes rolling off the assembly line heading straight for the Cardinals. They won't need Route 66 to whoop up on the Cardinals. They will drive right over them like an Edsel on family vacation.

PICK: LIONS

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

Somewhere in the midst of the two foggiest locations in America a football game will be played. No one will be able to see any of the action, but by virtue of the fact that I really like Levi's, I pick the 49ers...America will just have to take my word on the game's outcome.

PICK: 49ERS

Baltimore Ravens at Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons win the Tippi Hedrin Bowl between two of the oddest-named teams in the league. Neither team is able to take flight, but the Falcons do just enough to not lose.

PICK: FALCONS

Buffalo Bills at Los Angeles Rams

After a huge victory last week when I predicted the Bills loss (this falls squarely under the Broken Watch Theory of Life...) I am at it again. The Rams will use every bit of their Walmart money to destroy the blue-collar Bills 56-3.

PICK: RAMS

MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK...

CO2ISFUNNY | Songs About Rain in October...

October is the rainiest month and I, for one, am here for it. I need just a little bit of Fall, but not a Kansas fall that gets a bit bitter. Just a California Fall which is still warm, but pensive (that is a smart word my Grammerly thesauras suggested!)... And now that we are gonna have some rain this weekend in LA, I am gonna celebrate!

Here are some great songs about rainy days in autumn:

Only Happy When It Rains | Garbage

Thunder Only Happens When Its Raining | The Traveling Kisses

Amazing Eyes | Good Old War

So. Central Rain | REM

Stormy Weather | Kings of Leon

Why Does It Always Rain On Me? | Travis

Rain | The Beatles

Caves | Gregory Alan Isakov

Raincoat Song | The Decemberists

Northern Sky | Nick Drake

CLICK THE IMAGE FOR THE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

THE SHOW I AM WATCHING

I know everyone knows of the Mark Brothers, but how may of you have actually watched a Marx Brothers movie??? If you have never had the privilege, Horse Feathers, a football comedy, is a great one to start with! It encapsulates everything that is awesome about them. Physical humor, of course. But also witty one-liners, thumbing their noses at social mores, and the "underdog does good" ethos that made these films fun.

Made in 1932, it captures a fascinating time in America. The Depression is at its worst (Groucho was hit particularly hard through a series of terrible investments from which he never recovered), bit also America was turning out to the movies in droves.

This is escapism at its best and is a fun football movie to boot!

SUSAN WARE CLIP OF THE WEEK

1916's Punch Softly! She's A Lady! was yet another tremendous step back for women at the hands of Susan. Susan plays a bar wench turned female boxer who runs afoul of the local political machine. The governor, looking to make a point with the noisy suffragettes, organizes a boxing match between the greatest female boxer of the day and his nephew, Rocky Bonganza with the rights of wannabe female voters everywhere on the line (this is a standard plot back in the day that we all just went along with for no reason). Susan is of course chosen for the match, and despite padding her gloves with iron horseshoes, she is knocked out in one punch, thus ending the hopes of female crusaders all over the world. Women's groups were furious at Susan for losing a boxing match (fictional though it may be) and they had her banished from the country. She spent the rest of 1916 entertaining German troops at the Battle of Verdun.

HERE'S A RECIPE

I am on a health kick these days, and to prove that healthy food can be delicious, I want to share this week my family's long held secret for tolerating vegetables (with an assist from my good buddy Mike!)...

take a pre-sliced piece of celery

dip into peanut butter

Your body will thank you for it. It may reject it at first because green food is considered abnormal in these parts, but stick with it. It will be worth it.

CLIP OF THE WEEK

I need to bust this bit back out...

CLICK THE IMAGE FOR THE VIDEO.

As always, you can check out my clips on the site (co2isfunny.com) or YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@co2isfunny).

FORWARD TO A FRIEND, ETC

Please do me a favor and forward to a. friend. You get no prize other than my undying gratitude (and maybe a free ticket to a show when I am in your area if you let me know!).

I am very grateful to each and every one of you for your support and follows and likes, etc. You all are the best!

See you next week!

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