It's Official! We Tied the Knot...

This was all part of the surprise! The big secret was that no one ever liked Travis. He was just a patsy. He was my Lee Harvey Oswald standing on the grassy knoll outside of MSG as my lovely bride and I pulled off the wedding of the century. In order to keep things on the down-low, we are keeping the ruse going, letting everyone in the entire world believe she married a football player. Imagine the ridiculousness of that?!?!?! Sometimes I think the deception might be going just a step too far--like when he starts making out with her and they go back to the palatial mansions they live in together, and when they fly around on her private jets to all corners of the world. But believe you me-- it is all for show. We find our secret little moments when she sneaks away to visit my tiny little apartment in the dodgy part of Hollywood, far from the prying eyes of big media. It is what love looks like for two of America's sweethearts in 2026... Mr & Mrs Chris and Taylor Swift-OConnor-Kelce-OConnor-Swift...Kelce.

Here is some stuff I like and hope you like too...

AS ALWAYS, REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS AND STUFF YOU WANT TO SEE! I FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

WEDDINGS I WAS NOT INVITED TO

Here is something that defies all common sense... there have been a handful of weddings in history I was not on the guest list for. Startled are you? So was I. Most were for personal grudges. Here are a few examples...

Louis XVI & Marie Antoinette

This one seemed so promising...two young lovers with no experience ruling taking over the throne of arguably the world's greatest superpower. What could go wrong?

The ceremony was supposed to be amazing... until they ran out of cake. 😄😄😄

Liz Taylor & Richard Burton

Love so nice you gotta do it twice...and then 6 more times. I was at the first one...bought them a toaster. They never returned it. When the second one came around...well, fool me once as the kids say.

Still, for my money, she was the best actress ever on General Hospital, and I will take that to my grave.

Lady Di & Prince Charles

I can't believe this one didn't work! If a stuffy, pain in the ass prince with no real power in a country sick of their monarchy can't find true love by marrying a looney super hottie in a sham wedding watched the world over, than who can???

Btw...MURDERED!

Posh & Becks

Honestly...who cares. Glad to miss it. The Chiefs were probably playing.

Miss Vickie & Tiny Tim

Typically I would bet my fortune on the prospects of any ukulele player's nuptial bliss, but alas there just weren't enough tulips to tiptoe through. I think she cut her feet on the shards.

The odd part was he was such a looker. I thought she would stay for the passion...

MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK...

CO2ISFUNNY | Songs From My Other Weddings In Past Lives...

Oh love, why are you more contagious than long Covid? Similar to influenza, romance can leave you breathless and wheezing, needing an inhaler, and possibly--if you are like Boo Radley-- fighting tuberculosis. Doctors may disagree with love being the origin, but I am just going from experience, which seems to qualify as solid medical advice these days...

In another life, I would have made you listen to...

L-O-V-E | Nat King Cole

The Way You Look Tonight | Frank Sinatra

At Last | Etta James

Dream A Little Dream of Me | Doris Day

Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) | Cole Porter

Begin the Beguine | Artie Shaw

Sentimental Journey | Les Brown & His Orchestra

As Time Goes By | Dooley Wilson

The Way You Look Tonight | Billie Holiday

What's I'll Do | Irving Berlin, Bolcom & Morris

THE SHOW I AM WATCHING

Best wedding movie ever! Not just one of the best movies ever-- which it is-- but the wedding scene at the end is possibly my favorite moment in movie history.

This may be the most flawless movie ever made (pipe down Rosebud!)... Certainly it is the greatest comedy. Everyone-- Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross...even Norman Fell-- literally everyone turns in a stellar performance. The script by the criminally underrated Buck Henry is brilliant. It lost the Oscar for Best Picture to In the Heat of the Night, but Mike Nichols won for directing and it's legacy has left an indelible imprint.

SUSAN WARE CLIP OF THE WEEK

"Put away the Pepto and hooch, Pappy! We gotta make some tracks!" And just like that, we left sweet Clara Bow's debaucherous quinceanera party. No one even knew why she had thrown the party-- she was 49, not 15. But of course everyone lied about their age back in the day. It was par for the course. Why, here is a pic of me at a sprightly 11 years old. Susan couldn't have been much older than 9. That was a different era...or maybe not so much. Anyways, check out Susan by clicking HERE.

I hope you enjoy these as well! Feel free to subscribe if you want. I will also include them here, but the posts that come from her site are hilarious and go out on Mondays and Thursdays!

SUSANWARECOMEDY.COM

CLIP OF THE WEEK

Last week, King Charles. This week, Princess Di... a continuation of last week's video!

CLICK THE IMAGE FOR THE VIDEO.

As always, you can check out my clips on the site (co2isfunny.com) or YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@co2isfunny).

FORWARD TO A FRIEND, ETC

Please do me a favor and forward to a. friend. You get no prize other than my undying gratitude (and maybe a free ticket to a show when I am in your area if you let me know!).

I am very grateful to each and every one of you for your support and follows and likes, etc. You all are the best!

See you next week!

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