I am officially announcing that I will never ever run for Mayor of Los Angeles.

Looking at the collection of candidates, it is hard not to imagine that I could do equally as good a job. I'm incompetent. I'm lazy. I am easily corruptible. These seem like the only requirements as far as I can tell. I don't know how to put out fires, and I am happy to fire those that do, all while on a reality show. That is my platform. Please do NOT vote for me.

Here is some stuff I like and hope you like too...

AS ALWAYS, REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS AND STUFF YOU WANT TO SEE! I FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED!

THE NO HOPE EXPRESS

I could not be less inspiring if I actively tried to be uninspiring. I do not have any words of wisdom, policy proposals, doctrines, treaties, manifestos, or even just ideas for a good lunch. That is not my strength. My strength is not the good idea-- it is making fun of the person with the good idea. I thrive in being a contrarian. I am Ross Perot-- a fella who will show up and disrupt the status quo for a few minutes, and then blow all the good will by talking about being kidnapped by aliens. I would be a lousy politician because I would never want the actual job. The running is what's fun. The challenge of winning. The actual doing, though, just seems miserable. The sheer volume of things you are supposed to read is bananas. My first law would be a law to simplify laws. If it cannot fit on an index card in 12pt font, then it's a hard pass.

I miss the days of pork barrel spending and bridges to nowhere. I'm from Kansas-- all of our bridges go nowhere naturally. I thought that was the point. Trick travelers into getting lost and staying in the state longer. My write-in candidate of the year will once again be Warren G Harding, because I can never get enough of a good Tea Pot Dome scandal. Maybe I'll see if Fawn Hall is free to catch up over a martini at the Watergate. That is officially all I know about politics, all gleaned by watching YouTube documentaries (HUGE thank you to Chris Mowery and Vlogging Through History for letting me pretend I am smarter than I am!).

MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE WEEK...

CO2ISFUNNY | Best Songs About Politics in the Days Before Penicillin...

Let's Bring Back the Train. I don't even know know if trains are officially gone or not, but I do know that no one stands on the back of them to make cool speeches any more. When was the last time a fella with a handlebar mustache waxed eloquently about "The Man in the Arena"? I miss Teddy, I miss the Bull Moose Party, I miss crazy mustachioed men fixing boxing matches for the local party boss while listening to jazz and drinking bathtub gin. I am born so out of time it is alarming. I should have died of whooping cough in 1919. Not slowly succumbing to AI in 2026.

Here are 10 songs that celebrate politics in the age before penicillin:

Solidarity Forever | The Mountain Goats
Waiting for the Great Leap Forward | Billy Bragg
Which Side Are You On? | Natalie Merchant
Bread and Roses | Judy Collins
Strange Fruit | Billie Holiday
This Land Is Your Land | The Avett Brothers
The Bourgeois Blues | Lead Belly
If I Had A Hammer | Peter, Paul & Mary
Trouble | Josh White
I Don't Want Your Millions Mister | Pete Seeger

THE SHOW I AM WATCHING

Undecided is one of my favorite movies, and, honestly, had I ever had the good fortune to make a film, this would have been the kind of thing I would have done. I LOVE this movie because it makes fun of everyone-- like all good social satires, it does not pick a side. It thumbs its nose at the entire system, pointing out the hypocrisy in everything. This is a movie after my own heart! I am a third party/no party/let's throw a party voter who enjoys chaos more than order, and who never wants anyone to win. Just like this movie.

Undecided tells the story of two morons who cannot figure out who to vote for in the 2016 election, so they go on the road with the candidates, frequently disrupting (in real-life) the campaign stops and press events of actual politicians while campaigning. The improv is hilarious, but the movie retains a sweeter, gentler side which makes it resonate with me long after the viewing is over. BTW... I just saw star Jena Friedman on a comedy show with Jess Winther about a month ago, and she was hilarious! If you like Undecided and want to watch more of her stuff, you can find some HERE.

MEMORIAL DAY

Monday is Memorial Day, and in addition to being a three-day weekend, it is a good time to stop and remember those who have sacrificed more than I ever will on behalf of this country and the freedoms we enjoy. I know, I know...this is a comedy newsletter. I get it. But if we ever get to the point where honoring those who have done the hardest of things we have been lucky enough not to have to do is problematic, then we have larger things to worry about.

Happy Memorial Day in honor of those who never came back.

Here is a picture from the National World War I Museum in Kansas City, a museum I was proud to volunteer at during my many years in KC.

COMEDIAN TO KNOW: Julie Golden

Julie Golden is not just a good buddy, but also an insanely brilliant writer and stand-up comedian. Despite being a reality TV producer, she is insanely smart, and her biting satire is one of the reasons I adore her comedy so much. She is also the producer of the incredibly funny Big D Dating Show, a dating show for divorced people. She and I will be performing together in Santa Barbara on Saturday night if you are in the area, along with Luis Moro and Kelsi Collins. Should be a great night. See more from Julie Golden HERE.

CLIP OF THE WEEK

Yes I have posted this before, but it is thematic and one of my all-time favorites!

CLICK THE IMAGE FOR THE VIDEO.

As always, you can check out my clips on the site (co2isfunny.com) or YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@co2isfunny).

FORWARD TO A FRIEND, ETC

Please do me a favor and forward to a. friend. You get no prize other than my undying gratitude (and maybe a free ticket to a show when I am in your area if you let me know!).

I am very grateful to each and every one of you for your support and follows and likes, etc. You all are the best!

See you next week!

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