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I'M HOPING FOR A BRONZE MEDAL IN THE SUPER BOWL......so I can say I made one correct prediction this football season. I have not officially tallied up the results, but my buddy (and hilarious comedian) Rob Johnston and I did a rough guess: out of the 284 games that have already been played so far, I have correctly guessed the 7 losses by the Eagles because I predict them to lose every game. Other than that, I think I had four other correct predictions, but we could not remember them. The vast majority of the picks were utter trash, and for those of you who bet using my logic, Vegas thanks you! Let's add one more dubious prediction to that list, shall we???
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Here is some stuff I like and hope you like too... AS ALWAYS, REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS AND STUFF YOU WANT TO SEE! I FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED! |
THE SOUP OR BOWL
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Whenever I don't feel like watching the Super Bowl, I throw myself a little party--the Soup or Bowl. My female friends enjoy it as it means they don't actually have to watch the game. Campbell's loves it because it spawns massive sales of tomato soup (at least 4 cans). And The Big Lebowski loves it as folks chug White Russians and bowl like there's no tomorrow, right Dude? This year, though, I may watch Super Bowl 2: The Electric Boogaloo between the Patriots and the Seahawks because I always enjoy a game without Russell Wilson. Nothing like getting $53 million in dead cap money to walk around saying, "Let's ride". Sounds like an ad for a local bike shop, not a pro football powerhouse. Sometimes you just need the good sense to say to yourself, 'I'm rich and my wife is good-looking. Good enough. Later, America" |
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Let's get to the picks!
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SUN | PATRIOTS VS SEAHAWKS | PICK: SEAHAWKS What a year! Tears are streaming from my eyes, and not from conjunctivitis. Rather, it is the final game of the season, and these are the two teams we have left. That would make anyone distraught. Who would have thunk it-- both of these quarterbacks were described with disdain by their respective fan bases. Last year, Drake Maye sold a total of six jerseys. This year, he's the hottest thing since a freshly microwaved Pepperoni Hot Pocket. And Sam Darnold--he was the Jets' great hope before perennial great hope Aaron Rodgers and his dusty MCL crushed Broadway-bound dreams everywhere. This is my guess--the over/under on combined turnovers between these quarterbacks in this game is 39. This game will be won by the QB who plays just slightly less bad. So to that end, give me Darnold and the Seahawks, as he has earned his ineptitude over a few more seasons. Seattle 13 Patriots 9 in a barnburner. Hey Seattle, go celebrate in a rainstorm listening to Soundgarden. Victory is yours... but then again, so is Courtney Love. |
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