Well hello there, my sleep-deprived, algorithmically compromised Hussy.
I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately.
Which is weird.
I used to be able to attach an IV of Adderall and fall asleep on command.
Nothing says healthy nighttime routine like using an amphetamine as a nightcap.
Now I lie in bed watching naughty AI lesbian drama reels.
Quit eye-rolling me, Becca. You like them too.
Damn algorithm.
They’re filling my feed.
Nonstop.
And I must watch all of them.
Every g.d. one.
They’re terrible.
Poorly written.
Poorly dubbed.
Zero chemistry.
Obvious money grabs.
And I am IN.
Same storyline over and over.
Rich college girl Vivian saves slightly-less-rich, straight-ish girl Evelyn from some evil dudes at a bar.
They hook up.
The next morning, Evelyn remembers she’s straight-ish and runs away.
Then she goes home to meet the new stepsister she’s never met.
Guess who her new stepsister is?
VIVIAN.
Damn, girl. Damn.
Throw in an evil stepmom, an obsessed ex and a family scandal.
Repeat for 50 one-minute episodes.
Keeping up?
Me neither.
BRO.
I watched the exact same story 50 times yesterday.
It’s late-night ’90s Skinemax all over again.
Give you a taste for free, then ask for a credit card.
Which was already on file.
Thanks, Dad.
Playboy TV?
Must’ve been the kids.
Hustler subscription?
Those damn kids again.
Sure, Dad.
Now the AI dramas give me ten minutes free and hit me with the paywall.
Same scam.
Different lesbians.
It’s basically Fifty Shades of Grey.
Only better.
Brooding billionaire.
Bondage.
Regular girl he must have.
My friends dragged me to all the movies.
Hated them.
Turns out all Fifty Shades needed was lesbians and a terrible storyline
