Okay.
New obsession.
I accidentally fell down a rabbit hole watching Harry Mack.
If you don’t know him…
look him up immediately.
Seriously.
This man freestyles completely off the top of his head and somehow turns random words into actual songs.
And not just for random people.
He’s performed for folks like:
Ellen DeGeneres, Will Smith and Ice Cube.
He even did a freestyle for Adam Ray as Dr. Phil at the Comedy Store, which honestly feels like something invented in a fever dream.
Positive.
Creative.
Insanely talented.
Meanwhile Starbucks asks my name and I panic like I’m under federal investigation.
“This is a fro yo, double breast milk, soy soy, triple-shot macchiato…”
“Yes.”
“That’s mine. Delic.”
Naturally I got inspired.
So here’s my Harry Mack freestyle:
🎵
Becca likes jelly
AI Glenda seems smelly
One mimosa turned to twelve
Now my standards feel unhealthy
I could write more
But the mimosas got me distracted
🎵
Harry Mack…
you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
SOMEBODY OPEN A MIMOSA FROM A CAN!!!!!!!!
Memorial Day was last week.
Tip of the visor to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in service of our country.
Here in the House of Hussy, we honor you in true American fashion:
By not doing a darn thing.
Which means America’s favorite tradition:
Opening a mimosa from a can and pretending that counts as plans.
No calendars.
Hell no we won’t go.
No sir.
Not today, devil woman.
Let’s call it:
LAZY SUSIE DAY.
Sorry, Susie.
No visiting IKEA looking for sales on Lazy Susans.
Productivity is a four-letter word today.
Do not say plans or you’ll have to put some crypto in the swear jar.
On Holidays:
We DoorDash McDonald’s.
We lay horizontally for six hours like the after photo of a Beta Beta Squared toga party.
Oh Becca…
Don’t put a toga on.
The shorts are working.
It’s Lazy Susie Day. Darn It!
Just order the gum on Amazon.
A wagon ride to CVS feels like too much work.
And I’m out of crypto anyway.
Lost it in our game of strip Clue last night.
We answered three emails last week.
We deserve this.
