Good morning. You sexy minx.

✨ I am in it today.

Power broker energy.

Like I work at Dean Witter… or Whitaker… (no relation)
Or if I worked anywhere that lets me wear a visor, pink glitter gloss,
and pretend I understand the concept of money.

In this hypo reality there is:

• a dusty typewriter in the corner
• a fax machine
• an actual phone booth… with a cord
• and somehow no chewed gum on the receiver. It’s on the ear hole.

I may have awoken from my Disney princess slumber inside a
Russian doll Night at the Museum crossover.

AI Glenda is hovering, stressed, and doing absolutely nothing.
Just standing in the corner staring at the wall
like Becca after an extra strength Fruity Pebbles gummy.

🚫 No, Beccs, you can’t eat a whole bowl.
🚫 No, you can’t watch cartoons.
And don’t call me mommy… unless you put the visor back on,
change the timeline to Saved by the Bell The College Years
and say please mama hussy.

AI Glenda is still recovering from the government approved AI booster.
👉 Becca you do not have an excuse.

💥 FALLOUT: LIB AVENGERS 💥

The fallout from last week’s Hussy News is in full effect.

This fallout is bigger than Fallout on Prime.
I guess 2026 Walter Goggins is considered hot now if you’re into that rugged, Fallout, missing a face vibe. Still a no for me.
White Lotus is cool but Walt you will always be Boyd from Justified to me.

Just like Timothy Olyphant will always be
that d bag porn producer from Girl Next Door.

Shout out to the riddler (Paul Dano) for holding that movie together like the third leg of a tripod.
Movie ref in effect.

👀 Stay with me.

Becca that is a phone booth. I know, very vintage. Like your visor.
Do not chew that gum. Ok, if you say please.

Why am I sweating and doomsday prepping

 I am not sweating. I am glistening.

I am currently preparing for cease and desist letters from

The Avengers
Disney
Liberals
Captain Gavin
Avocados
Jimmy Gandalf Kimmel
A vagina scented candle company for emotional damages
And Rachel from the second grade cake walk.

It was a small town with limited options.
My mom bought the tickets
so I deserved the biggest slice of butterscotch frosting.
➗ That’s just math.

Butterscotch cake does sound good, right Becca.

But lucky for me the attorneys are busy.

Because in this version of the MCU

💥 Thanos does not snap anymore.

 Unless he is signing show tunes.

He litigates.

That is the real infinity stone now.

 Paperwork.
And more paperwork.

❌ No battles.
❌ No explosions.

Just attorneys billing hourly
while everyone slowly gives up
or gets bored.

Becca do not chew that gum.
 Glenda a little help here.

🚫 No Glenda you cannot have a virtual gummy.
🚫 Or a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

✨ CORPORATE POLITICS: HUSSY INC. ✨

Let’s talk corporate America.

Or as I call it
 Unfunny Looney Tunes.

I did my time.
I was an undercover corporate drone.

Until I was exiled for

• Glitter gloss
• A near smile
• Too much riz in my voice

✨ I do not blend.
I shimmer and prance.

Meanwhile boring Bill
is owning the team meeting
by reading spreadsheets
like it is slam poetry.

🐰 In this world

They would absolutely fire Bugs Bunny
for eating Daffy’s unlabeled carrots.

 Sure, he violated fridge policy.
Relax Daffy. I mean Janet.
 He’s an F’ing Bunny.

They would love Elmer Fudd.

He’s
Quiet
A rule follower
Fully embracing the new ear flap dress code
And Bass Pro corporate sponsorship

 Definitely goes on hikes and tells you about them in the break room
until you consider chewing phone booth gum
just to feel something.

 Be vewy quiet is a number 1 hit
in the corporate training video section of iTunes.

 In this world

Taz is Fudd’s boss.

Button up shirt
comb over
weirdly articulate
lots of dad jokes

 until one IPA at the company picnic
and suddenly it is a performance review tornado.

I once worked at a FUN company.

Which means the smile policy stated
we had to smile for exactly two hours a day.
Twenty seven minutes of said policy had to show teeth.

Or you got sent to a meeting
with Taz after one IPA
to unpack your tone.

I had reached my maximum fun allowance so I took a day off.

Went to the DMV.
Got a root canal.

It was the most fun I had in months.

🎤 HUSSY COMIC TO WATCH 🎤

Ren Q.

Genuinely one of my favorites.

I met them in Denver
when I was a baby comic.

Ren is hilarious, launched the wildly successful Here to Pee tour
and is the first trans comic to perform in all 50 states.

 Tswift, icon status.

It’s not a competition but
I have done Colorado
California
and a flea market in Toledo.

Fresno feels like another universe so should count as something.

👉 Check them out.

💭 THINGS I’M FEELING 💭

I was locked into the playoffs

Until Ant Edwards’ knee said
we are done here.

So now I am back to my natural state

Watching low budget lesbian rom coms
and action movies where the choreographer
was either on sabbatical or never hired.

If I wanted this level of bad scripting
I would watch ESPN studio shows.

Becca
do not lick the phone receiver
unless you sanitize and ask permission first.

✨🥂 REST IN SPARKLES 🥂✨

Pour a mimosa out for the MGM Grand Buffet.
The myth. The legend.

My parents loved a good buffet. Cheap buffet.
If it was all you could eat they said yes please.

I was 26 before I learned not all restaurants had sneeze guards.

You gave us chaos, bad decisions,
and better people watching than a Kentucky flea market.

💐 Respect.

📍🔥 UPCOMING SHOWS 🔥📍

May 2 Costa Mesa 6:30 PM
May 5 State Social WeHo 6:30 PM
May 9 Gold Rail Glendale 6 PM
May 12 The Dime time TBD vibes confirmed
May 15 Comedy Chateau 7:30 PM
First 10 tickets free with code DWINKLEMAN
May 16 UCB LA
May 19 State Social 6:30 PM
June 20 Glendale Room

🚨 More dates are coming in hot.

Tell a friend.
You are probably already on a watchlist
so share the fun.

🥂 FINAL THOUGHTS 🥂

Pride is coming.

Start your mimosa training now.

Stretch. Hydrate.
Be prepared.

This is a marathon not a sprint.
This is about endurance. And gum.
💥 Lots of gum. Right Becca.

💅 Tip of the visor to you, you naughty minx.

Does anyone have a portal
back to the 2012 MCU

where Gaga is singing Born This Way
and not haunting Gotham in a musical spiral about the joker

Becca chewed gum is not a gummy.
Ok, if you wear the visor and say please mama hussy.

Your Team Leader of naughty hussy fun
and cuddles
and pillow fights

Denise Winkelman

Of Comedy, Chaos and mimosa influenced life altering decisions

✨ OUT 💋