There’s a lot of stress right now.
We can all feel it.
Right, Becca.
Some hussies are sponsored by chaos. And consequences.
Some even voted for it.
Fast forward 18 months…
Crickets.
Some say banish those hussies.
March them out. Naked. Ring a bell while we yell shame.
Put them in stocks wearing a sign that says dumb dumb.
Or banish them to Fresno.
Or worse… Wisconsin.
We can’t. The Geneva Convention forbids it.
⸻
Team Hussy is inclusive.
Even for dumb dumbs.
We don’t banish.
We don’t tear down.
We don’t exile you to the two star hussy group chat.
No.
We invite you back.
⸻
We hand you a mimosa. Not a good one. Those are for 5 stars.
Non organic fruit powder. Boone’s Farm champagne. Not bottomless. Stay humble. You did this to yourself.
Pull out a lawn chair. No cushions. Those are for 5 stars.
You can sit at the table.
Not the big table. Come on now. You lost that right.
You sit at the Gen Z influencer kiddie table.
Because watching you sit in it…is…
Delicious.
Oh it can’t get worse.
Oh babe.
It can.
And it did.
And it’s still evolving.
You don’t get to leave early.
You don’t get to check your texts and pretend you just woke up and finger snapped 5 years ahead.
No no.
You built this city. You built this city…
Now buckle up.
All aboard this haunted hay ride.
We’re not screaming.
We’re not fighting.
We’re observing.
And here we see the conservative voter… confused… frightened… realizing the rhinos are indeed mating.
You bought the safari pass.
Stay in the jeep.
Trauma therapy starts after the midterms, dumb dumb.
