HUSSY NEWS – SAN DIEGO EDITION

aka: Pizazz, perversion, and a murder hotel

Well hello there, my five-point, tax-deductible, emotionally validated Gold Star Hussy. ✨

I just got back from what I can only describe as Hussy-Diego, San Diego but with glitter, trauma, and emotional support lashes. And wow. I forgot how much I love this city.

Budget Tip of the Week:

If you’re trying to save money, simply stay at what I call a murder hotel.

Is it haunted? Probably.

Did someone definitely cry in the bathtub? Yes.

Was it $79 a night? Yes.

Is there blood on the sheets and a faded chalk outline on the floor? Also yes. #Blessed

Why I Love San Diego:

• Farmers markets that make you believe in love again and also give you diabetes because every corner has Willy Wonka–level candy stores.

• Glitter stores (plural!!) I was lured in by a pink hat and walked out with 12 bags of Barbie clothes.

• And somehow…the hottest lesbians on the planet. Ladies, this is a coastal city, not a calendar shoot.

In LA they told me, “You should butch it up.”

San Diego said, “You do you, boo. We love Glitter Barbie.”

San Diego didn’t just support it, San Diego invented the term lipstick lesbian.

So when they said, “You do you, boo. We love Glitter Barbie,”

I said, “Perfect, because I’m the pink lip gloss edition.”

Because we can all look like Barbie,

just with very different backstories and coping mechanisms. 💄✨

Speaking of Barbie…

I accidentally wandered into a Build-A-Barbie store and came out as Food Stamp Barbie.

She’s doing her best.

She has dreams.

She also has coupons.

Then I was walking my dog and found this flower that looks like a pervert designed it.

And all I could think was:

“Wow. What kind of freak botanist said, ‘Yes. Make it horny.’”

Nature, you nasty.

THIS SATURDAY – SAN DIEGO:

I’m bringing the full glitter hussy tour energy.

Pizazz. Chaos. Emotional support lashes.

Joining me:

• The Ric Flair of San Diego comedy, Chris Clobber: jet flying, limousine riding, kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, son of a gun… WOOOO!!!

• And the wonderful Taylor Spencer, holding the show together like duct tape and manifesting sparkles and silliness.

Huge love to D.D. Steps and Cassidy Stains for running great rooms and keeping comics alive, hydrated, and only mildly unhinged.

3. Shout Out of the Week

Comic to Watch:

Bernice Ye, I met her in LA and she is:

• A touring comic

• A social media star

• A rapper

• A martial artist

She will make you laugh and then gently break your leg.

IG @BerniceComedy

That’s Hussy News.

That’s the news, hussies.

This Saturday, San Diego, I’m bringing glitter, chaos, and emotional instability in heels.

Come get weird with me. 💋

Denise Sparkles Winkelman

UPCOMING TOUR DATES

📍 SAN DIEGO — COME SEE ME LIVE

I have some amazing shows coming up in San Diego. Come scream laugh with me in person:

💄 The Silly Hussy Tour. I Am Headlining

📅 January 24th at 7:30 PM

📍 Mic Drop Comedy, San Diego

Hosted by Taylor Spencer

Featuring Chris Clobber

This is the big one. Come see your favorite chaotic Aunt Hussy headline.

If you show up in sequins, I will probably cry.