Happy Hussidays, My Dearest Hussy,

I’m rolling into the holidays like Bob Odenkirk at the end of Nobody.

Lung dart still lit while being interrogated. Calmly feeding a kitten. Radiating the quiet confidence of someone who has already won. Frolicking the entire damn way.

This holiday season has personally attacked me.

Between chemical burns, random injuries, and whatever happens when I attempt menial household chores like cleaning, I’ve learned something important:

👉 I should absolutely be wearing a helmet at home.

If OSHA covered “existing in your own apartment,” I’d be on a watch list.

💗 Cute. Pink. Reckless-but-cute.

This is your reminder to:

  • Do things that entertain yourself

  • Lean into cute and pink because anything Barbie wears radiates joy

  • Consider dressing as The Grinch and going outside just to scare a few kids
    (character-building for them and their future therapists)

Menacing but fun self-care.

🛍️ Holiday Shopping: A Great Season for Bad Decisions

It’s a fantastic time for impulse-therapy purchases, and somehow the options keep getting weirder:

  • IV drip therapy (hydration, but spooky)

  • Zero-gravity chambers

  • Santa’s sleigh rides in Finland

  • Upgrading your home until it looks like Barbie’s pink dream house vomited everywhere

Just me? Cool, cool.

🎬 December Movies That Have NOTHING to Do With the Holidays

Because nothing says holiday cheer like chaos, greed, and death:

  • The Wolf of Wall Street
    Anything with Margot Robbie is a gift.

  • Tombstone

  • The Hateful Eight

  • And for reasons we will not unpack here, Schindler’s List

If it’s dark, violent, or emotionally devastating, it’s festive.

🎤 Comic to Watch: Audrey Stewart

If you’re looking for someone actually worth leaving the house for, keep your eye on Audrey Stewart.

She’s all over LA, touring with major headliners, and genuinely funny. Like, annoyingly good.

Catch her live before she gets impossible to book and you have to lie and say,

“I’ve been a fan for years.”

 IG @audreystewisart 

🎁 One Last Thing, My Sweet Hussy

The theme of the season is sharing.

If this brought you joy, chaos, or the urge to wear a helmet indoors, please share it with a special Hussy in your life.

A friend.

A chosen family member.

Or a nemesis, depending on how much you enjoyed it.

If they laughed, tell them to subscribe.

If they didn’t, tell them to perk up, buttercup, and subscribe anyway. Growth is uncomfortable.

Your curator of chaos, helmet wearer, and Special Liaison for all things hussy,

Denise Winkelman

Lobbyist for pink.

The original Hussy. 💋

UPCOMING TOUR DATES

✨ Spotlight Show ✨

🎤 Mic Drop Comedy, San Diego

📅 Saturday, January 24

🕢 7:30 PM

👉 Get tickets here:

https://www.micdropcomedysandiego.com/shows/337168

Check out my website denisewinkelmancomedy.com all my upcoming shows and tour dates.

DENISEWINKELMANCOMEDY.COM

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