Why indeed did I freak out over... nothing?
Why was I sometimes triggered into over-reaction by objectively small occurrences, despite my proven ability to handle most aspects of life just fine? And why did my freak outs show up the most with boyfriends? At the time I was in an epic train-wreck relationship - a doozy even by my then-standards that ended later that year after he put his fist through a door at our couple’s therapist’s office. Yeah, he had triggers. But I digress.
Terms like “buttons” and “triggers’ were not in cultural parlance at the time, yet I knew they were somehow at the heart of my sad relationship history. So I started to look at my buttons - how I got them, how mine and my boyfriend’s seemed to collide and wreak havoc. And as difficult as that relationship was, it was the sheer awfulness of it plus the query from Doctor Ma that catalyzed my lifelong learning about buttons and triggers - how they show up in our relationships, how relationships work, and what’s needed to create and maintain a good one.
