And if you say those words to someone else, you can bet they’ve pushed one of your buttons - even if you aren't even aware that button exists! Understanding this is super helpful when it comes to your relationships.
"Always" and "Never" are never 100% true, right?
You see, at any given time we're either operating from our new (higher) brain - the human, connecting and compassionate part - or the old (lower) brain - the animal part concerned only with self-preservation and me, me and more me! We want to be in the higher brain - where we feel good and can connect. But when the words "always" or "never" - exit our mouths - well, we’ve been hijacked into toxicity and “fight or flight” by our old brain. Something deep got triggered.
The next time you hear the “always” or “never” criticism to or from you, realize that the speaker's in an old brain reaction and that no connection or understanding is possible.
The only way out is to pause long enough for the old brain’s toxic influence to dissipate and allow the new brain to take charge again. This can be a few minutes - or in some instances even hours. Only then can two people come back into connection and hope to resolve the issue.
Reaching resolution is far easier when using relational skills that point to the heart of the matter, without triggering that old brain!
