{{contact.first_name}},
The collective eye is immature. With the scope of a straw. Everything in its view will be reduced by default. This tells nothing of the nature of what actually exists.
I say this to say that if you base what you believe is available on what the collective can perceive, instead of what you know deep down is available to you, you will be convinced against yourself, time and time again, going against the accuracy of your depth and capacity; gaslighting yourself.
You will live reactively, protecting yourself against the reductive shadow fragments the world is projecting because that is the only thing it can perceive.
NOT the only thing that exists.
The collective eye is immature.
This is why it reduces everything.
Generative romantic connections are NOT immature. Nor are they narrow. Nor are they superficial, only existing on the surface. They are not reactive. They are generous because they are energizing and generative.
It will ask everything of you, but it gives you more than you can actually give, FIRST.
You will never be pulling from nothing.
You are never giving from what you have not been given.
Inside of extractive connections, man and woman approach each other from a drained, exhausted place, afraid of being used.
Haha.
Well, in a generative connection, you will be put into good, proper use. Just as he will be. And it will be a good thing that you both enjoy. Both of you are fed. Both energized.
People have resistance to this because they have only been exposed to extractive frames that only spend and discard people.
Inside of a generative connection, you become hyper aware of all the resources that are naturally available to you, as the man will constantly be telling you how much he appreciates specific aspects of you lol, and they are used to feed the man, energizing his giving to you. And it goes on from there.
He may have initiated contact with you.
But he did so because an aspect of you energized him enough to do so.
Your laughs are a resource. Your clean receptivity is a resource. Your joy, a resource. Your beauty, a resource. Your perception, your depth and capacity… all of these, plus more, are major resources.
You were not taught to look at it this way because, again, the collective eye is immature. They reduce everything. Convince women out of being able to perceive and thus inhabit their own value.
Generative connections don’t exist on the axis of immaturity and reduction.
Extractive ones do.
Inside of a generative connection, he will be put into good use, you will be put into good use, and it will feed. It will energize. It will generate MORE. Not spend you. Not waste you.
And by the way, this isn’t something that you two have to manufacture. In a generative connection, it just is. Natural. Automatic. You can’t produce this upward spiral; you can only get in the way of it.
One more thing—
Before you believe that we are reducing connections into a frame of usefulness, I have to make clear that usefulness is only reductive inside of immature perceptions that can only force utility, extract, discard; not even truly able to understand the full value of someone or something.
Not being able to see the full value makes it impossible to put someone or something into good or proper use.
Being put into good and proper use FEELS incredibly expansive, as it comes with being fully valued.
Generative usefulness values the individual. It does not reduce humans into limited utility objects.
You don’t have to organize yourself in a way to be useful for a specific purpose.
You are not “making yourself useful.”
You are just living accurately from your depth and capacity.
This is enough.
And for the “right” man, he will be energized by it.
Quite automatically.
I read a fiction book the other week that absolutely resurrected me. The Passion According to G.H. — Clarice Lispector (1964).
That book isn’t necessarily intended to be “useful.” However, to me, it just was. Overwhelmingly so.
In fact, it was some of the best material I have ever come into contact with.
It moved me, fed me, and fundamentally altered the way I now live.
How generatively useful…
Inside IRL, this is one of the things we stabilize deeply in women: the ability to perceive themselves, their depth, their receptivity, and their relational value outside of the collective’s reductive frame, so they stop organizing around being spent, extracted from, or reduced, and instead begin naturally participating in generative connections that feed both people involved.
I read your replies every day, and I can always tell when a woman is still unconsciously viewing herself through the collective’s immature lens instead of through the full extent of her actual depth and capacity.
